Family matters.

Yesterday, I went to the eye doctor. Yuhhh, I'm getting glasses.___. I thought I was in the clearing since my whole family got their glasses when they were kids, but unfortunately it caught up to me. I didn't realize I needed them until Chem lecture and I couldn't read anything on the board. Haha. After choosing my frames, Nate &I met up with friends at Creekside Park while they played football and I hung out with Kyle. Chill session for a while, and I went with Abby, Celine, David, Ray, &CJ to the mall - got to see Lalique - returned clothes &ate some dinner. Had some Lollicup and went home and talked to Ridge for a good 3 hours til 3AM. Good shit, feeling talks that almost made us cry, haha.

Today wasn't much. I was supposed to hang out with Alec, but for the fifth time in a row, plans didn't work out.. sigh. I really miss my best friend. S'all good though, I suppose. I ended up going down the street for a family party - hung out with the closest cousins, learning a Filipino dance for our cousin's wedding, played Apples to Apples, and took random pictures and talked about past relationships with the opposite sex (or same sex for Ridge &Leiza) haha. The boys are sleeping over and we just finished watching Lakeview Terrace, &now Slumdog Millionaire.

When I often talk about the past, I dwell on mostly junior high and high school years, and the friends that were a part of it. But sitting with my cousin until 3AM made me realize how much we grew up so fast, and how much I really missed my cousins. It only felt like yesterday when all we needed was eachother. Family was all we needed... when I didn't wake up waiting for a text, but for a phonecall from one of my cousins on the landline. Where it took clever planning as 10 year olds to get our parents to give in to letting us have a sleepover, where we let our imagination take it's course, where playing handball was the highlight of our day, where Space Jam was our favorite movie, where we were each other's friends, and where no one else but each other really meant anything. When all that mattered was family.

But now, friends do too.
I miss it, but I wouldn't take away the importance of my friends, now. Many friends now feel like family, and I have faith in how far/long they'll last.
But I don't think anything can beat blood, and I'm glad I've figured that out.

I really miss you. I hope that we see eachother soon, because I need to before I go. I hate being scared and you're one of the few that really understands me, even if we're polar opposites. I really need to see you, because these people are making me go crazy. Show me, help me see that you're different.

-Rainier.